then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
