That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I cut my penus on the lid.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
