so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's never too late to be topless.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
