So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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