I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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