Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
