Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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