Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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