i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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