My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
