there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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