i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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