Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I need a beard to bite.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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