at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
