We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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