Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
