no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
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I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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