Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
