Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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