it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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