Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
