Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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