You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
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