Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
