Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
we're making bets on your personal life
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
