i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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