You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Randomize
