I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
