Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
