every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
