remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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