While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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