haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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