Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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