I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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