why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We talked him into tasing himself.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
