not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
