i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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