well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
