no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
