im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
