i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
