I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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