Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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