i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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