Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
