This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
