what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
