if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
