shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
True college students do jello shots in the library
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