Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
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My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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