Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
