Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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