our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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