i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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