the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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