I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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