tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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