I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I can feel your judgement through the phone
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote āColleenās Dickāwith a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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