That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
